Thursday, February 16, 2012

This is my story.

I don't typically go here, but I felt the need to share. A person that I know in *real life* has blogged a few negative posts about me lately, one post even included a photo. I defended myself only one time in a firm, yet professional way, and it did not have a good outcome.

She told me that being a blogger gives her the right to post whatever she wants about whomever she wants, and she has no idea why I would be remotely hurt since she has never actually 'said my name' in a blog post. She said I am only looking to be offended and draw attention to myself, and that I 'should have known' that the photo of me would end up on her blog. I have only said one thing to her via facebook when I asked her to remove my photo from her hurtful post about me, which I then quickly deleted, and yet she claims I keep attacking her. I have only briefly and respectfully responded to her blog post in her comments. She told me I am no longer 'welcome' to read her blog, while she freely blogs about me. I find it interesting that she is so hurt and upset over my few sentence response to her that I promptly deleted, yet she can't understand why I would be hurt by 3 whole negative blog posts about me... in which several of our mutual friends see what she writes. Logically, it just does not make any sense. Here is my ultimate point in even speaking up here:

I think bloggers have the responsibility to act ethically, and to be respectful. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. It is one thing to post opinions and to disagree. It is one thing to express yourself. But it is entirely different to continually harp on a person, and their family... that is just plain harassment. It shows a lack of self-restraint, maturity and, friendship. This is me asking you as bloggers to please be respectful, to please treat your readers, strangers and especially your friends and family with dignity. You can still voice concerns and tell stories and opinions without hurting one another, and by using anonymous and hypothetical situations. Think about the words and actions you do and how they effect more than just yourself. Give yourself boundaries. Be nice! And really, just stop finding fault with everyone and everything around you. People would be a whole lot happier if they were less judgmental, if they didn't find fault in everything they experience. Happiness is a choice. I am choosing to move on and to ignore people or things that bring toxicity into my life, and instead fill it with those who are uplifting. Heaven knows, life is hard enough as it is. Like I told her, I'm done. I'm in a happy place. I hope she finds hers.


Stephanie of Pretty {much} Art said...

I think it's good you spoke up and got this off your chest. Now, like you said, you can move on. She probably thought she was just being honest in her blog posts. It's unfortunate that it came across so negatively and hurtful. I hope you can be done dealing with this now.


lisa said...

Oh no, so sorry to hear this Lisa :(
I rarely comment on blogs anymore since I discovered Google Reader but I felt compelled to give you some bit of encouragement/empathy. I can't believe the stance on the whole clothes issue as I believe that respecting Jesus' teachings should be done regardless on how someone is dressed...all day, every day.
Keep your head held high and surround yourself with people who will not suck the happiness out of you.

Little Lovables said...

Thanks all! I agree with both of you, and yes, I do plan on moving on :)

The Monsons said...

This post was informative, but sounds like you continue to have a lot of anger and bitterness towards Emily. It doesn't appear as if you've been able to 'forgive and forget' and resolve the initial issue. Perhaps you do not intend to do so. However, ones advice could only be to try communicating privately with those who have offended you so many times in past and present. Simply writing lengthy public posts about you being offended without trying to privately resolve the issue doesn't make any sense. It appears that you have no interest in actually resolving the issue, only to solicit sympathy from others. Is that the truth? If so, state that along with your list of grievances. I feel for your situation, especially if you truly feel repeatedly offended by someone. It can only be uncomfortable and unpleasant for the both of you and your families. Keep an open heart and mind, it's time to show compassion.

Little Lovables said...

Thank you Monsons, I appreciate that and that is very sound advice. This post is merely a personal response, to the recent post on me. I have been *trying* to move on, but she continues to harass me publicly, so I felt the need to say my peace and be done with it. I am not offended, nor am I angry, though I am wary of her past history and see the patten emerging now, and simply want her to stop... which is why I responded in this way. I don't feel the need to forgive and forget, because it is done in my mind. You can't resolve an issue with a person who continually finds fault with you and others, and who chooses not to understand. I have written to her and explained myself, and she continues to ignore what I say and bend the truth and then post about me. How can I resolve an issue with a person who does that, besides simply defending myself and avoiding them? I would truly like to know.

As for my objective, I am not out for sympathy for anyone, if that were the case, I could say a whole lot more. I am merely giving a recent example of my life that was made public by another person to other writers, on why it is important to be nice and to not fault find, and to find happiness through life's struggles, and to create boundaries as a blogger. I do not think that linking to her published posts or defending myself against her public allegations that is exposed to our mutual friends is in violation of her privacy. :)

Jessie said...

I have been through this type of thing in the past when My Space was really popular. I had horrible blogs written about me and I cried over it for days. It was so hurtful. It's hard to go through. Losing friends, especially this way is heartbreaking. I ended up not speaking to the person for about 2 years, but we have made peace with each other since. The best thing is for you to move on. You can't control others actions, and hopefully this person also moves on. *big hugs*

Little Lovables said...

Awe Jessie, I'm so sorry! I'm glad you were able to get past it.

Jessie said...

Thanks for your comments on my blog yesterday. :)

I believe in people speaking their minds about things on their blogs, but there is limit I think. I talk about saving Whales and my whole food diet, but I never speak badly about people in my personal life. It doesn't do anything but make drama and makes things hardier to fix in the future. Just move on, and you'll be fine. When people type things, they may not mean to sound rude, but unfortunately things can come across that way. Anyways, enough of that....HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!

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